I live in a desolate frozen wasteland: the frustrated ravings of a Winnipeger.

A picture of either Winnipeg or Mars. Based on the hill I am going to say Mars

This winter holiday I have spent too much time sitting indoors and not enough playing outdoor hockey. 

I am  blaming my holiday immobility on the weather in Winnipeg, which has at times been as cold as the surface of Mars.  I feel personally betrayed by the fact that recently Winnipeg has been a terrible place to live.

When I taught English in Japan I did my best to defend my hometown against the negative stereotyping of Americans, Europeans, and mostly Canadians from other places.

Japanese people just seemed to find the absurdity of Winnipeg weather hilarious.

After telling a new student I am from Winnipeg and explaining where Winnipeg is relative to Vancouver and Toronto, the student would ask me how cold it is in my hometown.  The resulting conversation was usually the following:

I would tell the student the winter temperature gets colder than -40 C.  The student would ask if I meant -14 C.   I would repeat myself, and write "-40" clearly on the whiteboard.  The student would start laughing.  Sometimes the student would ask me to come out into the hallway and tell their friends and family.

I always argued that as someone who likes the beauty of snow and winter sports (not skiing), Winnipeg in winter was preferable to the grey damp Tokyo weather. 

Now that I am back in Winnipeg I wish to express how ridiculous it is to live in a place where exposed skin freezes in minutes.  Kinda seems like humans are not meant to live in such a place.

While Winnipeg doesn't have earthquakes, typhoons, volcanoes, and giant killer hornets like Japan, spending too much time outside in January can be enough to kill you.  

During cold snaps like this one, I wonder if the people who settled in Winnipeg were not imaginative enough to consider the possibility that if they kept walking they would end up somewhere better. 

I know that while I was in Japan there were great things about Winnipeg I missed.  In a couple of months when the weather warms up perhaps I will remember what they are and write about them.

Photo from the Winnipeg Free Press.