Atlantic Division season preview: The Losers

Every season everyone who writes about hockey writes a season prediction.  These predictions are all garbage.  Every single forecast done before the season is a self-indulgent excuse to make lazy generalizations and justify one’s own biases.  These predictions are insulting to the intelligence of hockey fans.

This is mine...

Bottom four: The losers

Montreal Canadiens (Highest 2, Lowest 6)

Last year Montreal finished second place in the Eastern Conference.  They were then eliminated by the seventh place Ottawa Senators in five games.  In that series Montreal was out-coached, beat up physically, and goaltender Carey Price did his best to earn a holiday during the Sochi Olympics in February.   Montreal is not a bad team, but they will finish in the bottom four in the Atlantic Division.

Strengths

Montreal has a lot of talented young players including Brendan Gallagher, Alex Galchenyuk, and P.K. Subban.  Subban won the Norris trophy for best defenseman in the NHL last year and will be looking to prove that he can do it again.

Montreal Goalie Carey Price has the ability to be an elite goaltender in the NHL.  Unfortunately he also has the ability to implode like a red giant star at the end of its lifecycle.

Weaknesses

Last year many thought Michel Therrien might win the Jack Adams Award for coach of the year.  In the playoffs, he was completely outmatched by Senators coach Paul McLean both in terms of moustache and strategy. 

If undersized forwards were gold, the Canadiens would have a supply capable of supporting the world's economic system.

Ridiculously obvious prediction 

At some point in the season Montreal fans and media will unfairly criticize someone in the organization who had the misfortune of not being born French.

Tampa Bay Lighting (highest 4, lowest 8)

Tampa may have the best goal scorer in the NHL and his perfect compliment.  They also have the depth of a wading pool during July in Arizona.

Strengths

If you are playing in a hockey pool this year Steven Stamkos will be a top 3 pick.  Martin St. Louis whose overall height is equal to the width of his quadriceps, still manages to perform at a high level despite his age.

Weaknesses

Tampa do not have the depth offensively or defensively to be competitive in a strong Atlantic division.

Ridiculously obvious prediction

Steve Yzerman receives a ton of criticism for his role as general manager for team Canada in the Sochi Winter Olympics.  Receives much less scrutiny for his role as Tampa Bay Lighting general manager.

Buffalo Sabres (highest 5, lowest 8)

After Terrance Pegula bought the team in 2010 Buffalo fans thought things were going to be different.  Finally, the team that couldn't afford to keep Chris Drury and Daniel Briere had a billionaire owner. 

Unfortunately most of their signings turned out to be terrible, so they started a rebuild and traded top players like Jason Pominville.  They are now attempting this rebuild with Darcy Regier, the same general manager who made the mistakes that got them into this situation.

Strengths

Thomas Vanek. Possibly Ryan Miller.

Weakness 

Almost everyone else.  There are some future bright spots on their roster like Cody Hodgeson, but this year it does not look good.

Ridiculously obvious prediction 

The next time the Sabres play the Maple Leafs, John Scott will be mentioned more times than any other game in his career.  He may not even play that game.

Florida Panthers (highest 6, lowest 8)

After surprising the league by winning their division in 2011-2012, Florida surprised the league again by getting quickly eliminated in the playoffs and finishing at the bottom of the league last year.  Now they have Tim Thomas.  Unfortunately since Thomas took a year off last year to spend some time with his doombunker, nobody knows if he is still good.

Strengths

There is a chance Tim Thomas can return to form and be an elite goaltender in the NHL. 

Weaknesses

Florida relies on players like Brian Campbell and Brad Boyes whose careers and NHL usefulness are coming to an end.  They have some talented young players like Jonathan Huberdeau and Aleksander Barkov, but it is unlikely they can do much to raise the Panthers in the standings this early in their careers.

Ridiculously obvious prediction

Florida will have at least one game where the attendance is better than this.